Entertainment for Man and Horse

by Hondo

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    Hondo's 2012 foray into Americana, or something vaguely smelling like it. Jewel case cd in shrink wrap.

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about

The following is a review of "Entertainment for Man and Horse" which appeared in the July 2012 edition of Boston's "The Noise" magazine: "Here’s a ready-made blurb: “As a goofy pastiche of gratuitously cornball pan-Americana, Hondo’s latest CD is not anywhere near as bad as slavery.” Let me explain: I actually appreciate a collection of catchy half-assed songs as much as the next man, or maybe a great deal more, but this is one gift stocking that’s just too stuffed with horse apples, Pardner. You get this garage-REM style pop on the opener, “Wheatfields of My Love,” and the followup “Shaker Ferry” flails around like a dyspeptic Jimi Hendrix. “Monsanto Blues” is a pretty prime piece of garage spazz; “Western Skye” comes across as a Bad Company song with no hooks—and a long-winded one at that. “Yee-Haw” is a witless travesty of naughty outlaw songs like David Allen Coe’s “Piss Me Off Fucking Jerk” albeit with some not wholly inept pickin’; “Monster Rock Girl” is a thoroughly catchy but otherwise execrable slab of 1970s-era stumbo metal with standard-issue geetar-solo wankery. The more than marginally tuneful “Country” seems pointless, like Green on Red without direction or purpose, and the harp solo seems thin and gratuitous; “Aquarium” falls flat, and seems somewhat overbusy and murky—somebody should have changed the filter. “Put Your Finger in the Fuzz” is annoying acid rock, while “The Trifecta” and “Sour Billy” are two more offensively crappy schlock outlaw-country ballads, the former with an offensively cheesy middle-eight. “Asymmetrical Girls” practically demands that the listener regards the CD as actually being little more than an extended joke, but that kind of tossed-off aggressive contempt for the listener is precisely what leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Unfortunately, you can’t often have it both ways—in this case, you can’t serve up a collection which is half travesty and half serious and expect the beleagured listener to patiently glean the pieces of gleaming golden corn from the, um, excessive amounts of waste material." (Francis DiMenno)

credits

released February 17, 2012

Scott Corey - drums, vocals
Brian Hall - electric and acoustic guitars, backing voc., some bass
Randy Knight - bass, vocals, piano, moog synth, some drums, some acoustic gtr.
Rich Malinowski - organ, cowbell, vacuum hose, saw, and other percussion instruments

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Hondo Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Wheatfield of My Love
I was the first, I'll be the last
When all the other, grains have past

Walk through my crop circles of fire
Let the burning take you higher
Walk through my crop circles of fire
Let the burning take you higher

When it pours, I'll be the thatch
That keeps you dry until the storm has passed

Walk through my crop circles of fire
Let the burning take you higher
Walk through my crop circles of fire
Let the burning take you higher

Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me
Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me
Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me
Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me

Graze upon my golden throne
Grind me forever on your millstone
Scatter my kernels into your breeze
I'll be your Kansas, you'll play my Dorothy

Till me towards the sun,Till me under the moon
Mill my endosperm into a flowered bloom

Walk through my crop circles of fire
Let the burning take you higher
Walk through my crop circles of fire
Let the burning take you higher

Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me
Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me
Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me
Welcome to the wheatfield of my love, harvest me
Track Name: Shaker Ferry
Shaker Ferry you’re a brimstone man, you got a two dollar hat and a healing hand
Take off your boots and the snakes run out, His word on your lips when they start to doubt
Congregation is running thin, when the money is gone the walls cave right in
Shaker Ferry why did you leave town, when the mob showed up only dust was found

I keep Satan in my pocket
Cause I need him sometimes
I threw out my bible
I don't wear belts anymore

Shaker Ferry drink the moonshine down, when you poisoned the flock they can't keep you in the ground
Perspiration has made you slick, the thrill of the sermon the rush comes quick
Put on your coat when it's time to go, when you suck them dry it's best they didn't know
Shaker Ferry with the great forked tongue, when you give them the eye sets them on the run

I keep Satan in my pocket
Cause I need him sometimes
I threw out my bible
I don't wear belts anymore

Shaker Ferry you’re a brimstone man, you got a two dollar hat and a healing hand
Shaker Ferry with the great forked tongue, when you give them the eye sets them on the run
Track Name: Monsanto Blues
I've got those Monsanto blues
I've got a pocketful of seeds that I can't use
I've got private eyes sneakin' around my door
I don't believe I can take it no more
I've got those Monsanto blues
I've got those Monsanto blues
The lawyers and the judges are all on their side
All I've got left is my sense of pride
I'm runnin' out of money, I'm runnin' out of time
When they're through I won't be worth a dime
I've got those Monsanto blues
I've got those Monsanto blues
They don't care about you, or your kids, or your wife
They're like Agent Orange to the tree of life
So if you're thinkin' 'bout farming, let me tell you bud
They'll leave you with ten acres of dust and your face in
the mud
I've got those Monsanto blues
I've got those Monsanto blues
Track Name: Western Skye
I traveled down the Cheyenne River, saw the national heroes standing tall
They sold me movie tickets, to a black and white about my fall
I met a woman from the badlands, she stole my heart and then my show
So I left her naked in the plains, her mind as empty as a scarecrow

I passed redemption on the highway, thought my luck had finally turned
Made a deposit with the Devil, to find out what he had learned
I saw the ghosts of 600 Indians, they were thumbing for a ride
I asked them where they were headed, they hadn't noticed they had died

They said,
We're looking for the Red Road
We still ride the Western Skye
And when all your cities crumble, and your rivers run bone dry
Don't come begging us for mercy
Because you gave us none
When we return what you have taken, the sum adds up to one

Blew into Omaha with the Scarecrow, roped cattle for a fee
She vanished with her daughters, beyond the thousand mile tree
I left with knowledge about her people, which way the Bison run
I was searching for the Great Chief, where the horizon meets the sun

I dreamed for many miles, until I met a Horse In The Wilderness
He told me of his visions, and the owl against his breast
He rode to battle against the 7th, when the White Chief wanted more
Killed five of seven by the river, won the battle lost the war

He said
I'm looking for the Red Road
I still ride the Western Skye
And when all your cities crumble, and your rivers run bone dry
Don't come begging me for mercy
Because you gave me none
When I return what you have taken, the sum adds up to one
Track Name: Yee-Haw
I once had a girl looked like I never saw
Big broad shoulders and a big square jaw
Looked a lot more like her Pa than her Ma
Whenever we would fight it always ended in a draw

Yee Haw, Yee Haw, Yee Haw, Yee Haw, Yee Haw
Yee Haw, Yee Haw

She liked to drink whiskey from a bottle with a straw
And do a lot of things that were quite against the law
Made a damn mess when she ate coleslaw
But other than that she had nary a flaw

Yee Haw, Yee Haw, Yee Haw, Yee Haw, Yee Haw
Yee Haw, Yee Haw

She was walking down the street and guess what she saw
A cute little kitty with a mouse in its paw
She bent down to pet it and it scratch her with its claw
She pounded that pussy and she said YEE HAW!
Track Name: Monster Rock Girl
I met you at the show, you were in the back with your friends
Doing dirty deeds on your world domination tour
You wouldn't talk to me, you just stared me down with those eyes
Holding me in place so that you could put your spell on me

You said "I really like your guitar"
I said "I really dig your claws, come on show me what you really are"

You're a Monster Rock Girl
A shut up and talk girl
Kick 'em in the nuts girl
Standing tall, Monster Rock Girl

You're a Monster Rock Girl
A shut up and talk girl
Kick 'em in the nuts girl
Standing tall, Monster Rock Girl

There was a full moon out when you looked at me and let out a howl
You're not like other girls, you certainly have way more hair
We left the gig for your flat when you said "I want to show you my coffin"
When I felt the first bite, I knew I'd never be the same

You said "Hey I like your Speedo"
I said "I really dig your fangs, that's when I knew what you really are"

You're a Monster Rock Girl
A shut up and talk girl
Kick 'em in the nuts girl
Standing tall, Monster Rock Girl

You're a Monster Rock Girl
A shut up and talk girl
Kick 'em in the nuts girl
Standing tall, Monster Rock Girl

You're a Monster Rock Girl
A shut up and talk girl
Kick 'em in the nuts girl
Standing tall, Monster Rock Girl
Track Name: Country
RUSTY TRACTORS AND BURNT OUT SILOS
PASSENGERS ALONG FOR THE RIDE
MIDNIGHT CALLERS AND BROKEN WINDOWS
LOST IN THE HAZE OF THE SKY

EMPTY PASTURES AND VOID TRANSACTIONS
POPULATE THE KITCHEN WALLS
SILHOUETTES IN EMPTY FRAMES
CRUMBLED WHEN THE MARKET FALLS

THE COUNTRY'S NOT THE COUNTRY
IF IT'S JUST A PICTURE OF
A WHEATFIELD, A SUNSET, AND A TREE
AND A PICTURE'S JUST A PICTURE
WHEN IT'S NOT A MEMORY
AND THE IMAGE FADES
AND THEN THE MEMORY'S GONE

FIELDS GONE FALLOW WITH INTERSTATE TRAVEL
THE COWS HAVE LOST ALL THEIR PRIDE
SMALL TOWN CONVICTIONS, NAKED PREDICTIONS
LOST IN THE CORPORATE TIDE

FACELESS FORECLOSURES, PROFIT ROLLOVERS
A PICKUP IN THE BREAKDOWN LANE
PLANTED DREAMS WITH SEEDS OF TOMORROW
BUT THE HARVEST IT NEVER CAME

THE COUNTRY'S NOT THE COUNTRY
IF IT'S JUST A PICTURE OF
A WHEATFIELD, A SUNSET, AND A TREE
AND A PICTURE'S JUST A PICTURE
WHEN IT'S NOT A MEMORY
AND THE IMAGE FADES
AND THEN THE MEMORY'S GONE

THE COUNTRY'S NOT THE COUNTRY
IF IT'S JUST A PICTURE OF
A WHEATFIELD, A SUNSET, AND A TREE
AND A PICTURE'S JUST A PICTURE
WHEN IT'S NOT A MEMORY
AND THE IMAGE FADES
AND THEN THE MEMORY'S GONE
Track Name: Aquarium
Here in the land of everything
Oh everything shines through
In the nearby land of Aquarium
Only the fishes move

But if you float down to the bottom
You'll find a plastic happy land
Where everyone is posed forever
Standing in the purple sand

It doesn't matter if the fish swallow
Cause the water passes through
But they don't have much to do

In the nearby land of porcelain
Live the raincoat wearing fisherman
They learn the secrets of moving
From the toys in toyland

They fish on the edge of Aquarium
They always bring a good catch home
But the king who lives on the bottom
Plans revenge from his plastic throne

It doesn't matter if the fish swallow
Cause the water passes through
But they don't have much to do
It doesn't matter if the fish swallow
Cause the water passes right on through
But they don't have much to do

It doesn't matter if the fish swallow
Cause the water passes through
But they don't have much to do
It doesn't matter if the fish swallow
Cause the water passes right on through
But they don't have much to do
Track Name: Put Your Finger in the Fuzz
Put your finger in the fuzz
Put your finger in the fuzz
Didn't know just what it was but you did it just because
Put your finger in the fuzz
Put your finger in the fuzz
Didn't know just what it was but you did it just because
Put your finger in the fuzz

Put your finger in the fuzz
Put your finger in the fuzz
Didn't know just what it was but you did it just because
Put your finger in the fuzz
Track Name: The Trifecta
He was crazy in Kansas, before she was born
Found killing a preacher, whose bible was worn
She was singing the blues, in a black western bar
When in walked Kansas, placed his coin in her jar

They went back to the hotel, to load up their guns
Hit the bank at sunset, left town on the run
She left him at the station, to grab something to eat
And she told him he'd die, the next time they meet

She was chasing the Trifecta, that mythical score
Riding high across the country, always leaving wanting more
Nobody could love her, no one could hold her down
When you woke up in her bed, she had already left town

She hit the Trifecta, when she went down to Texas
She fell in to the river, when she forgot about Jesus
She washed up in Kansas, now she's hanging from his tree
When the Devil comes a knockin’, you gotta pay the fee
Track Name: Sour Billy
Sour Billy sits alone at the bar
He's looking for beauty to put in a jar
He's quick with his knife
Just a flick of the wrist
Don't put up a struggle or suffer his fist

If he's not back to the boat by five o'clock
They'll be waiting tomorrow at the end of the dock.
Their temper is fury when they suffer the thirst
Each shout of the lorries
Which boat comes in first

Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets
Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets

In the dark of the winter or the heat of the night
Beware the black ship that blocks out the light
When you’re on the Mississippi whether it be high or low
The pale faces from Natchez will drag you below

The winters are short and the summers are long
He's spent all his time drinking their song
Sour Billy waited such a long time
He's lusting to savior the sweet taste of their wine

Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets
Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets

Sour Billy used to be so sweet

Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets
Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets
Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets
Sour Billy used to be so sweet
Now you spend all your nights hunting in the streets
Track Name: Asymmetrical Girls
I love asymmetrical girls,
How I love asymmetrical girls
Well maybe one nostril has got some extra hole, maybe one cheek has got a great big mole
Maybe one eye ain't got no brow, well if that's the case let me at 'em now
‘Cause I love asymmetrical girls, How I love asymmetrical girls
Well maybe one lip hangs a little bit low, maybe one leg drags a little too slow
Well I love asymmetrical girls

If they got six fingers on one of their hands, if the left side of their neck has got a swollen gland
If one of their ears looks like cauliflower, that'll keep me going for more than an hour
‘Cause I love asymmetrical girls, I love asymmetrical girls
Well that's the kinda girl I can hey diddle diddle, the kind that don't part their hair down the middle
I love asymmetrical girls, I love asymmetrical girls
Let me tell ya, I love asymmetrical girls, Yeah I love asymmetrical girls